losing it

So ive been trying really hard to shed a few pounds. I dont have time to go to the gym with three girls, however we have a treadmill so there is no excuse. Its plain and simple .... i just dont want to. I would rather starve then run in the heat to lose the extra baggage im carrying. I was 155 right when i got out of the hospital and now i am 145. I cant even believe im writing this for anyone to read but whatever. Ive been really trying to change the way i eat. Counting calories, less sugar, more fruits and veggies, taking vitamins, all in my efforts to be healthy. Now if i could just find the motivation to exercise! Jason and me were watching some home videos the other night and we came across one of us eating dinner in Texas.( Im not sure why we were even recording this... i think it was just because the camera was new) And i looked so chubby i couldnt stop laughing. I remember that day very clear. We had eaten spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner and i kid you not i ate a whole loaf of texas toast minus the one peace that jason had! Then we had blue bell ice cream after dinner. The funny part of this is I really thought that because i went to the gym maybe three times a week it was ok to eat this way and still lose the weight that i wanted! HAHA.no wonder i weighed the most ive ever weighed there ( 160 cough) what was i thinking. So anyway ive really learned a lot about taking care of myself and eating right. Most of the changes are so obvious but at least im making changes. I have to take care of me if im going to keep up with three girls!